Posted in IRL

New School

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Shout out to all the Mums and Dads who’ve just dropped the kids off after a long summer break.

We made it.

This was my first summer holiday as a full time Mum. It was hard work. I survived due to a week off in Edinburgh and brandy the super human abilities of Him Indoors, a real life grown up.

The kids have started a new school and as you can see they’re not entirely engaging with this.

But the gargantuan task of sewing a billion name labels on items of uniform has at least been completed.

Now I get to turn my attention to a brand new show, gigs, and what to make for after school tea. Please send me anything more creative than fish fingers.

Posted in Gigs

Edinburgh show: Meet in the Middle

Show posterIn three days time, Nicola Houghton and I will be heading up to the Edinburgh festival to perform our brand new show, Nicola Houghton & Rachel Wheeley: Meet in the Middle.

The Edinburgh fringe is the single biggest celebration of arts and culture on the planet. Last year there were over 50,000 performances of 3,398 shows in 300 venues all over the city and this year there will be even more.

This year, one of those 3,000 shows will be ours!

Nicola and I are neighbours with three kids each, but we’re from very different backgrounds. Nicola grew up in a working-class household on the gravy-soaked cobbles of The North, surviving thanks to raffle prizes, knitted underwear and treasures found in skips. Meanwhile I was growing up at Eton College, entirely failing to get off with Prince William and mixing with teenagers who had never seen an onion. I didn’t go to school there, because they don’t accept women. This is the story of how that panned out.

If you’re going to be in Edinburgh between the 4th and the 11th, drop into Bar Bados on Cowgate at 6pm to see what we’ve been working on! We’re hugely indebted to Steve Cross and Andrew Smith for photography and poster design respectively. Thanks to everyone who came to see our London previews. I’ll let you know how it went when I get back!

BBC New Comedy Award 2018

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I was lucky enough to be shortlisted for the BBC New Comedy Award this year. My heat was at Up the Creek in Greenwich, hosted by Dane Baptiste and judged by BBC comedy producer Victoria Lloyd, Steve Bennett from Chortle and Holly Walsh.

I was excited to be in a heat with Benji Waterstones and Thanyia Moore, and met half a dozen other fantastic acts, many of whom I’ll be booking at Comedy at the Wheatsheaf before too long.

It was a really fun evening. The radio show of the heat can be found here!

Posted in Productivity

The Pomodoro technique

I’m writing this post because today marks the start of a writing bootcamp. I will be turning in 2,500 words a week for the next four weeks, and others on the bootcamp will be turning in between 1,000 and 10,000 words. No one is going to read them, but we’re holding each other accountable for getting words on paper.

2,500 words doesn’t sound like very much. But shall I tell you how many words I’ve written this week?

0

I’m not sure what it is I’ve been doing, but apparently it’s anything other than writing.

So I thought to kick things off, (do these words count towards the 2,500? You bet your ass they do) I’d write about writing.

Yes, I am procrastinating.

But bear with me. This is a useful technique and the only thing that has kept me on the straight and narrow when I have been on the straight and narrow.

The Pomodoro technique

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The Pomodoro Technique is a time management technique developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s.

The idea is that you work in 25 minute chunks, with short breaks in between. The word ‘pomodoro’ means tomato in Italian. The technique is named after the tomato shaped timer Francesco used as a student.

I bought one of these in January and I use it every time I write. Somehow the quiet ticking keeps me on task. Deep work is tricky to get into but when you’ve a metronome ticking away in the background it keeps the mind focussed.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

So to do the Pomodoro technique, you set your tomato timer for 25 minutes (and you don’t need a tomato shaped timer for this!) and you work solidly, with no interruptions, on the task at hand. Put your mobile on airplane mode, lock the kids in the shed.

No. Distractions.

Then when the timer buzzes, you take 5 minutes off. Do something completely different. You keep a record of your pomodoros and breaks on a sheet of paper. Do four at a time and then take a longer break of 20-30 minutes.

After a while you start to get a feel for how many pomodoros each writing task will take.

If you have top productivity tips, for writing or anything else (cleaning productivity tips extremely welcome), please drop me a note in the comments.

Wish us luck! I’ll report back once the bootcamp is finished on June 11th.

 

Posted in Gigs

Stand Up for Towel Day – we’re Belgium well doing it again!

Douglas&suitMarch 8th marks the 40th anniversary of the very first broadcast of a radio series called The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Douglas Adams was inspired to write a guide to the galaxy while lying drunk in a field near Innsbruck with a copy of The Hitch-hiker’s Guide to Europe and looking up at the stars. Obviously it didn’t start exactly there. It must have come back to him later.

It is an absolutely extraordinary series, brought to life by the series producer, Geoffrey Perkins, with a little help from the BBC Radiophonic Workshop.

When Adams died in 2001, Hitchhiker fans across the world celebrated his life by carrying a towel with them for the day, after one of the show’s central tenets, “always know where your towel is.”

Since then, #towelday has been an annual celebration. In 2016, I looked around for a comedy gig to do on that night with a H2G2 theme, only to find that there wasn’t one. So in 2017, I organised one, complete with poetry, towels, copious amounts of #tea or alternatively, Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, if you’re that way inclined.

That night was a whole bunch of fun, so we’re doing it again. Do come and join us if you’d like to.

The gig is in aid of Save the Rhino International.

Adams became interested in conservation in 1985 after the Observer Magazine sent him to investigate Madagascar’s endangered Aye-aye, accompanied by zoologist Mark Carwardine.

This resulted in a radio series for the BBC and a book, both entitled Last Chance to See, in which he and Mark visited rare species including the northern white rhinos of Garamba National Park in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Douglas Adams became a founder patron of Save the Rhino in 1994 and was a dedicated spokesperson for SRI right up until his death in 2001 at the age of 49.

At his virtual 60th birthday party there were 8 tap dancing rhinos on stage at the Hammersmith Apollo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsLYBF09VFA

Save the Rhino International’s top priority is to protect and increase rhino numbers and population distribution in Africa and Asia. The charity currently supports field programmes in Kenya, Tanzania, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Namibia, South Africa and Indonesia.

Stand Up for Towel Day is proud to donate all our proceeds to SRI. There will be donation boxes at the gig if you would like to make an additional donation (think of it as buying your favourite rhino a gargle blaster.)

The photo is of Douglas climbing Mt Kilimanjaro in a rhino suit in aid of the charity.

See you on #towelday!

Posted in Performance

How to remember a speech

I have stood on a stage and told jokes for a little over three years now, and I think my memory has got worse. To start with I would practice my 5 minute set half a dozen times during the day, and emblazoned my set into my brain, to the point where I could see the words on the page as I said them. Whether or not this is conducive to a successful comedy performance is another question.

As time went by I found myself with less time to rehearse, plus this technique is not fool proof. There have been times when despite rehearsals I have managed to miss things, or got sections in the wrong order.

More recently I have written my set list on my hand and spend half the set gazing at the resulting black smudge, which is about as good a look as losing your place entirely.

So I decided I need a better technique. I experimented with a ‘bead and thread’ method, where the string is the thread that runs through your talk and the beads are the key moments you want to remember.

However the problem with this was that it was very difficult to remember what order the beads were in. Then I remembered something about ‘memory palaces.’

What on earth is a memory palace and how will this help me?

I prefer to think of it as a memory walk. I don’t know about you but the only palaces I’ve ever visited weren’t particularly memorable, as I only visited once. However I have vivid memories of places I visited regularly as a child. One of these will do nicely.

How to create a memory walk

This takes focus and a little bit of quiet concentration. If you’re into meditation, I would recommend doing some before you start, to quiet your head down. Memory is a brain-wide process, so the quieter your whole brain can be at the beginning, the better this is likely to go.

Write a simple shopping list, or dig out an existing set list to practice with.

  1. Remember a journey that you have taken a lot. Ideally this will have lots of interesting sights or bits of street furniture on it that you can turn into ‘stations.’ Walk the journey through in your mind a few times, noting any interesting places along the way.
  2. Break the walk down into ‘stations’, in the order that you first envisioned the walk.
  3. Move through the stations, placing an item on your set/shopping list at each one. Make the imagery as vivid as possible. If the item can interact with a place on the walk in a surprising way, so much the better.

If helpful, combine the image with a number so that you will easily be able to recall which item on your list you have got to with each station. You could place two mental images of the item at station number two, for example. Later on, six people holding item number six. Or somebody in a number 7 football shirt holding item number 7. The more imaginative you can be with this, the better.

It may also be useful to create a ‘9 station’ memory walk and a ’12 station’ memory walk, for example, so that you have completely different journeys for different set lengths/shopping lists.

Are there any other techniques that are helpful?

 

Posted in Productivity

Put that frog in the way

The Brian Tracy book, Eat That Frog, tells us to do the important, biggest, baddest and most unpleasant task of the day first.

Fine, but it really doesn’t appeal at all. The frog is lumpy, warty, unpleasant, still alive, and most importantly there are loads of other things to do which look more fun.

But there are some things that will make it less difficult to eat. I’m going to dispense with the frog analogy now because it’s getting annoying.

The point is, if there’s a horrible task to do, put it in the way. Make it something you have to get around, over or through to get to the fun stuff. Don’t let it hide.

Last week I had to book my daughter into the doctor for some vaccinations. This was boring, and I didn’t want to do it. OK, to be brutally honest, six months ago I had to book my daughter into the doctor for some vaccinations.

Last week, I remembered I still hadn’t done it. Irritating job. Really easy to do. Would have taken me 2 minutes, but I just wasn’t doing it.

In the end, the solution was to get her red book (where her vaccination records are kept) out of the bookshelf, and leave it on my desk. I wouldn’t let myself put it away until I’d booked her in.

It kicked around on my desk for days. In the way. Really annoying me. But I wouldn’t move it until I’d made the phone call. A little later in the week it annoyed me so much I wrote the doctor’s phone number on a post it note and stuck that to the book, so it was even easier to do the job. Still didn’t do it for 48 hours though. 48 hours in which I did all sorts of other stupid unproductive things, like play with my phone, which wasn’t getting me anywhere.

Eventually, this attritional (if that’s a word) technique worked. I did it, it took 2 minutes. So put that frog in your way.